I was sitting in my meditation room with my pen, paper, vision board and Spirit of God within screaming that 2018 was going to be the year where healing and inner peace will be achieved to every divine person walking on earth. I was feeling it, it had a nice ring to it, and I thought “okay, if this is what I am supposed to be doing… let’s do it then”. My original plan or so I thought was to write a book about my story and the principles I used to overcome the traumas I encountered in child abuse, however, that plan took a detour into another realm that has opened my life up to miracles and into deeper into love. I don’t think you understand though, I have another book almost written, I know everything in that book, I could get up right now and teach you the principles in that book and the thing of it all, the world needs those principles like right now, more like yesterday. But that’s how spirit within you works, and I came to understand and accept that this is God’s work, I am just a vessel and a witness to what His love and works can do.
God kept pressing me about forgiveness, at the time I did not know why but now I do and we are going to dive into the why a little bit later together, but now I understand because this book about forgiveness is the pivoting point that you need to understand to start healing your life. As I think about it I didn’t know jack about healing my life and achieving inner peace to live my divine life. But I remember my very first humble beginnings, sitting at work at the front gate as a correctional officer at a male high max prison and I had about a two-hour downtime, and I remember at that time my life just not working. I was a substance abuser of alcohol at the time, working my donkey off, and felt like I had nobody at the time, and I remember this energy around me demanding me to forgive my mother. I didn’t know who what where or why, but it just sounded like the right thing to do for something to go right in my life. I took out a pen and paper and forgave my mother for everything she has done to me rather she realized it or not, my thought or two in a positive way about life as I knew it and sympathized with her. Sent it to her via email and that was that. I remember feeling good about it and moved on with my life.
Since that day have I completely forgiven my mother and during my pre-spiritual journey looked at her with the eyes of forgiveness and love? No, I didn’t but I wholeheartedly believe that the intention and the act was the catalyst to the life that I have today. No b.s. My spiritual journey was an accident, I didn’t know the beatings and name callings I endured had a name, and honestly I thought I was healed from my past by the titles and objects I obtained. However, when all of this was made aware to me and doing all the work that needed to be done to truly once and for all overcome all of that I was one step ahead of the game with forgiveness. I knew what it could do for me, I felt what it could do for me, I seen what it did for me, and so that is where you and I are going to begin.
The one thing that is going to really help you step into who you are and always been and unlock all abundance and love through forgiveness.
If you have witnessed my life the past nine years on Social Media particularly Facebook, you would think that I have the most amazing life, I travel the world, I have the most amazing husband and kids, friends that are winners and want to see me win, and one would automatically assume that I was born with that life and I struck lucky and that is far from the truth. I came from a very rough beginning and I feel like it is important for you to know and see who and what I had to forgive. My father was a convicted felon on the run for murder and mother was very co-dependent and felt like she had to have everyone’s approval to be accepted. Picture it (and I say this with the most love now) a con artist who is one the run saying all the right things to make a woman feel love and accepted. This was very far from a fairytale and was very much illistrustrad that way.
I was conceived and from a very young age I witnessed them fighting and arguing all the time, I would see my father physically abuse my mother throwing her up on the wall and belittling her. I remember very well my mother chasing my father around with a knife and actually stabbed him with it. I don’t know what the fighting was about if I had to guess it would be about money, they were very poor back then, infidelity, drugs, and how I should be raised. I remember the first time I experience abuse, I don’t know how old I was but I was old enough to know what was going on, I was being disciplined by being drowned in the bathtub with my mother watching over him. I believe it was for not paying attention watching my sister, I am not sure but in my soul, I feel that was the reason. Seven kids later between my parents, and by this time between the ups and downs of being rich and poor of building a later successful business. The physical abuse became greater, I’ve been tied to objects, beat with objects, and held objects for many hours. I was also neglected of the basic needs like food and water, I’ve been locked in a room for hours by myself and then endless hours with my seven siblings.
Then came the verbal abuse, something that is very hard to shake when trying to get your life together, imagine overcoming the recordings of what you were told as a child and overcome the recordings that the devil and ego tells you.
Whew, that was some serious work!
With that upbringing, you can only imagine my mindset about myself and about life in general. I didn’t know how to love because I never witnessed it or felt it’s presence. I was like my mother and didn’t even know it, co-dependent. Broken is not even a word for how I felt and acted in the world, no self-esteem, no boundaries, and I acted accordingly. I treated myself in the most wrongest ways, destroying everything good my way, giving my body up to men left and right, doing drugs to escape my reality. You know the saying right? Hurt people hurt people? That is true because I was the empitemy of it, I would hurt people with the way I treated them and what I told them so they can feel the rage and hurt I felt.
I was getting older and the life I was living was not cutting it anymore, and each time I would surrender to this higher power I would be given a little nugget to chew on and then it was up to me to search for the rest of the ten piece. The ultimate answer, the ultimate true happiness. Inner peace. I had to forgive all of that and a heck of a lot more. I am still forgiving it because each time I share something or feel something come up from my past one of the first things I do is forgive it. I love what Marianne Williamson says in her book return to love, forgiveness is a full-time job, and that’s pretty accurate and you will see for yourself. One of the good things about forgiveness is that it becomes a habit and it becomes who you are, actually who you are designed to be. In the beginning it is hard but eventually, it becomes easy because of the new mindset you will develop in and beyond this book.
So hi, I am your guide to help you discover the true power of forgiveness. I hope that my life credentials show you that I am overqualified for this spiritual assignment and I am going to break down what you are going to need and what to expect during our time together. My ultimate intention for you with this book is to step into your full presence of love, the safety of God, and start seeing and feeling some radical changes in your life, especially within. Now I will say this my dear soul this is spiritual work and we will go into that, but the pain and turmoil that you may be facing inside is a cry from your soul to uncover the spirit that lies within. Spirit for me is the Holy Ghost, Jesus, your higher power may be called something different, I respect that, I honor that, but know that I will be calling the purest and highest love by my higher power name. If that doesn’t resonate with you, cool beans, trust in a power that is higher than yourself, and you will know that you are not relying on that power when you find that any of this work is “hard”.
With spiritual work comes with assignments to help you shift your perspective on how you see yourself and the circumstances you have been given that is why it is very important that you have a journal dedicated to this work. Connecting pen, paper, and your inner spirit is the most beautiful work you will ever encounter. You begin to understand things in a way that only you know and that only you can answer. It also serves as a tool to measure how far you have gotten in your journey so you can be reminded of how far you came and honor celebrate the work you have done. Also, you get to rewrite the parts of your life story that has kept you stuck and you will be able to share your wisdom and truth with others to ignite their own journey of forgiveness.
I mean that is what we are put on earth to do, to help each other in a way that is fully supporting and honoring God’s people.
Holding on to grudges, anger, and resentment is negative energy stored in your body and is disguised as diseases to hold you hostage in fear that unforgiveness brings such as depression and anxiety. I am not sure if there any scientific proof backing that claim up but I am just speaking from experience from my life and what I have witnessed from others I have helped. So what does that mean? That means that you need to have a sacred space designated to do this work.
Let’s think about it like this, your loved one gets sick with the flu, what do you do? You lock that sucker in the room so they won’t spread their nasty germs around so you and others in the family so you won’t get sick. The same goes for this type of work, you don’t want to spread that negative energy to spread around to others and to cling to others. You want to keep it contained in space that is safe, welcoming, and allowing you to do the work that needs to be done for forgiveness to take place. I would encourage you to get a sage bundle too, you can easily get one at a metaphysical store in your town or off on Amazon. Sage clears the bad energy in your presence and in your body, by cutting and clearing that energy you are making room for what you are entitled to life love, wisdom, compassion, and so much more. You can also use this on your body to help remove the negative energy in your body. Bouts of energy will leave your body into your sacred space, but not all of it, so it is important that you move the rest out of your body somehow and in some way.
Exercise that fits your unique needs is the best, walking outside and getting grounded in nature is the most amazing feeling in the world. It is like Mother Nature washing you clean of all the energy that does not serve you. Running or jogging outside is just as great too. Yoga is another great way to remove that waste out of your body, there are some really cool resources that I am going to leave you with so you can connect to your body on another level. Just do some type of movement because if you don’t it will stag your process of moving forward in your forgiveness journey. You will find yourself lashing out on yourself or others, I know for me all the crap that I shoved down in my heart was coming up and it was like I didn’t have a filter on my emotion or words. I wasn’t aware either because no one told me and so I am being a good friend and telling you now. Be kind to yourself in every way possible, consume healthy foods and tons of water, put down the habits that don’t serve you and know deep within that the power of forgiveness is yours.
I am simply a guide, I provide you the basics to get started and confirm that everything is going to be okay. These exercises and perspectives are meant to help you step into the name of love and miracles, therefore if you feel like you need to spend more time in an area then in one, go ahead and do just that. In your journey to enlightenment in the physical world, there is no finish line because you are always growing into your God-given power. Listen closely to what your inner spirit is trying to tell you because it is not wrong, if she says to slow down and let’s soak this in, then do it, there is no wrong way to do this work. Besides quitting. Quitting is not an option. Everything that I put in front of you has a purpose, don’t skip it, don’t try to switch it around to make it fit into your egos agenda. Trust that you are supported and guided and follow the plan exactly. The work I have laid out for you is from my own journey and the new thoughts I learned through the metaphysical text A Course in Miracles. These exercises and mantras are designed to help us dig deeper into our Holy Spirit to help us always stay in the state of love and forgiveness. I didn’t throw all this together to make a buck off you, I strategically put this together because I care and this works because I have done it and many of my clients have.
I am really excited to go on this journey for you, be sure to follow me on Facebook or subscribe to my email list so you won’t miss any of the life-changing lessons about forgiveness.
Let’s start with our first journal prompt.
In your journal (or you can comment here) let’s start envisioning what forgiveness can bring you? What does it look like? Feel like? What can forgiveness bring you?