The work and family gatherings are near us thanks to the holidays and we all know at least one person that “unbearable” to be around. You know that person; they know it all, the righteous one, or the selfish disrespectful one, political heavy, coming to spread their toxic energy around. The truth be told these are all protective shields to prevent themselves from being seen and what they really need is love and compassion. The false self tricks us into only seeing their faults instead of their needs, creating tension, stress, and negative energy within yourself. So in today’s blog, I am going to share with you 5 simple shifts to help you love these unbearable people, where you can leave feeling that you gave them what they needed, energized, and like you’ve done your part to elevate the world into a higher plane.

The most important concept to understand is the fact that we are all one, some of us are trapped in the illusion that we are all separated from each other. The fact is, we are all different but we are all truly the same. We all feel the same but with a different story. We all want to help but in different ways. We are all compassionate but express that energy in different ways. The second reason why it is hard for us to accept this “oness” concept because we don’t know how to communicate what our needs really are, we are not conscious on how to communicate these needs, therefore without the knowledge, we assume, and based on that assumption we separated ourselves from each other. The third thing to help you in the mindset of “oness” is the fact that how people treat or say to you is not a stab at you or a value on your worth, that energy has to do with that person. He or she may have a bad day or traumatized as a child and has an inner dialogue that is not serving them. So instead of creating more separation between you and the person that is severely working your nerves, see them as your brother, or your sister, better yet, your child, your pet, and see them in unison with yourself, so when you encounter that person that is unbearable, instead of seeing the illusion, you see the truth and give them what they crave the most. Love.

  1. Treat every encounter as a Holy Encounter 
    I am a student and teacher in the Course of Miracles and in that text, it teaches you to treat every encounter as a Holy Encounter. Every person that you meet, treat them as a miracle, as a teacher, a holy encounter. The Holy Spirit of your own understanding created us in His holiness, therefore we are holy too. This means seeing only their true identity, their light, love, the Christ within them. When we adopt this concept, we don’t attack, we don’t defend, because if we attack people that are unbearable, we are attacking the Holy Spirit. What is there attack in the Holy Spirit?

I like to use this affirmation from the course, “The Holy Spirit looks through me today”

2. See the other person as you
A beautiful shift in perception from my spiritual teacher and mentor Gabby Bernstein, which stemmed from Yogi Bhajans 5 sutras for the Aquarian Age; Recognize that the other person is you. Whatever you are thinking about the other person is really, in reality, a direct reflection of how you perceive and believe about yourself. Again, one of the definitions of love is oness, I noticed when I was hiding my love, compassion, and grace from others, it was because I was withholding those things from myself. When I hated a person for their beliefs, it was because I hated myself for the way I believed. It is okay that you have a hard time with this concept, it was a hard pill for me to swallow too, it just means there is some inner dialogue that needs shifting and healing. In the meantime, just see the good qualities within yourself, and see them in the other person too.

It is okay to remove yourself from a situation that is testing you and to catch your breath, and ask your higher power that you are willing to learn from this. Command that at blanket of understanding and love to shower you to get through this moment.

3. What do you wish to see?

Asking this question is an energetic jolt to the Universe saying ” I am taking spiritual responsibility by setting my intentions to make choices so I can honor them”. When my husband and I had a “debate”, I went into my space and immediately prayed, I asked Christ Consciousness, “What do you wish to see from this?” and immediately I received my guidance. It was truly a miracle moment. I acted accordingly to the guidance and that debate turned into the most positive outcome for everyone involved. When you ask your higher self or Christ “what do you wish to see?” you are setting yourself up to only see and act upon those things.

4. How can I love you?

Everyone is operating on their level of understanding at this point and time. Sometimes we feel entitled to the way we feel or belief either it is negative or positive. This one is to those high strung, boujee, “have to have it THIS WAY” people (TRUST ME I LOVE YOU!), instead of telling them to take it and suck it up, ask, “How can I love you?”. How do you fight darkness? With light and light is love, so by giving love, you are allowing love to come back to you. So just be open to being a service love to those who we deem unbearable. 

5. Your triggers are your biggest teachers

What can this person teach you about yourself? About your inner story? About your perception? The people who trigger us is a divine assignment from the Universe to learn from so we can heal our inner wounds, shift our thinking for the highest good, or to remind us what needs to be released. Or to learn so we can teach others how not to behave a certain way that is not serving to thyself or to others. This is a perfect time to bust out that pen, journal, and meditation to help you tap into your inner truth, to help you evolve into your Higher Self.

I pray that this blog has served you to help you shed light on the truth and to love the people around you that need love from you the most. Remember, whatever you accept into your mind comes true for you.