This is a February series, to read and watch week on click here.

The Reason why it is hard to forgive

Let’s begin this chapter by making a choice and sticking with it. The willingness to be open to seeing things differently. The miracles of forgiveness unleash when the mind is truly ready for it. Let’s set aside what you think you know about and be open to the ideas that are being presented to you in this week. Let’s invite the presence of love in this space to help you fully surrender to your forgiveness practice.

Let’s take a deep breath through your nose and exhale out your mouth. Do that a few times and just allow your body to fall into comfort, letting go any thoughts that don’t serve you. When you are ready say this prayer out loud

Divine love of God

Help me see past my hurt

Help me see past my pain

I am opening my mind to new ideas

So I can heal and walk in your mighty grace.


The reason why it is hard for you to forgive is because you have forgotten who you are. Christ-like. We all have forgotten in one point of our lives, see, we believe that God has walked away from us because we have just been horrible boys and girls and that is so far from the truth. We are born with the spirit of God within us and that kind of special power never leaves us, in fact, we can’t get rid of it if we wanted to. That flame of Christ within us simply dims and waits for the most divine time to awaken that flame within. God uses people, experiences, and darkness to awaken the greater good within you. I know you are probably wondering “if we have Gods power within us, how come we never experienced it? Or bad things keep happening to me?” Well, there are several answers to that question, 

  1. We allow our ego to take over our truth, making us too big for our britches. In order to get our attention God, Love, The Universe, creates events to get our attention to let us know that He is in control, not us. 
  2. Certain events are a cry from God to reconnect back to surrender to him, and 99% of the time that works right? Remember feeling pretty desperate and crying out to God to fix it?
  3. Everything God has put us through rather it is good or bad, it is divine, pre-planned to serve us to our greatest good. No, I didn’t ask or deserved to be tied to a chair to get a whooping of a lifetime, but I sincerely believe it happened for a reason, not to punish me, to evolve me. 


When we were in our mother’s womb we have the divine interaction daily with our loving Creator. He was with you every step of the way in the becoming of who you are today, everything was already 

designed for you to evolve into your God-given spirit. Being born with God’s love within you that lens of love has been with you since you were a newborn. You ever witnessed children being loving at your worst moments as a parent? Or being selfless, bold, and courageous? That is the spirit of God working alive and well within them. I learned the stages of separation from God from Atherton Drenth in her book called the Intuitive Dance. She goes through the process of how a child disconnects from their intuition (a God within) and the separation from their power begins about five years old. As a child, we are told to act one way but witnessing our parents do another. We are thrown into an environment where we must survive without our parents and make it on our own. From that young age we get caught up on the hustle and bustle of being somewhere on time, acting a certain way for others to like us and for our parents not to be embarrassed by our actions, and not learning the tools to cultivate the flame within us. Unconsciously going through that is one thing but going through child abuse or witnessing abuse in our household completely diminishes that flame within, we don’t even know about God and when we find out who He and we allow other people’s perception to shape who God is,  then when they don’t make Christ-like decisions, then God gets the finger. When something doesn’t go the way we expect them to or something bad that impacts the world happens, we blame God for them happening or not happening.

Every time I surrendered to the pain I was facing inside I didn’t know who I was surrendering to, in those moments it just felt right, and then in that journey of surrendering I found myself pursuing a relationship with God and with the Universe He had created for you and I. Looking back each book, lecture or person has been a building block into learning and trusting who God was, however, I believe one thing was not being driven home for me and millions of others and that fact was that we are humans with a Spirit of God living inside of us. Meaning that you and I are Sons and daughter of God, that you and I possess the same power and privileges that God has. In my experience, I have been lead to believe that God is this object that I have to kill myself every day trying to achieve. If I didn’t pray that day then I failed God, if I didn’t forgive myself and others then my ticket to Heaven was gone, if I didn’t go to Church then there’s my one-way ticket to hell. I knew that God loved me and had divine promises for me but I felt like damn if I do and damn if I don’t for God. That mindset deepened my depression, heightened my anxiety, I would start a book or a project (like this) that God had on my heart but would never finish it because I thought God left me because I wasn’t good enough that day.

That’s why I despise religion today because God’s love for us that is within us is being taught from a damnation vibe to it, He loves us but He will punish us too, that God is a reward for only good fruits and not a God-given source to each of us live with day to day.

That’s why it is hard to forgive, we have forgotten who we are or don’t know who we are in the power of the Holy Spirit. When the Holy Spirit is alive and well and living within us we are capable to be Christ-like to ourselves and to others. When we acknowledge that we are God in the flesh, that all the beautiful characteristics that he possesses live within you too, we begin to see a shift in the world that we live in. We begin to become miracles workers for God, we begin to witness miracles take place in our own lives to help us elevate to a place where God intended us to be which is true inner peace, happiness, and divine abundance.You are God’s creation and by surrendering to that presence within and around you, you and God share one Will, to love and forgive others as God has loved and forgiven all. In a moment I will guide you to step into who you are and surrender to the mighty holy spirit to allow you to forgive and unlock your highest blessings, but right now it is important for you to understand what is keeping you from your highest and divine truth.

I just have to share this from the preface of A course in miracles to help me make my point stand firm here. A course in miracles is a guide to help us live our true identity in God and become the light for others to live their truth through forgiveness.

Christ’s vision is the Holy Spirit’s gift (to all of us), God’s alternative to the illusion of separation and to the belief in the reality of sin, guilt, and death (the ego). It is the one correction for all errors of perception; the reconciliation of the seeming opposites on which this world is based. Its kindly light shows all things from another point of view, reflecting the thought system that arises from knowledge and making return to God not only possible but inevitable. (when we acknowledge and accept the Holy spirit’s gift) What was regarded as injustices done to one by someone else, now becomes a call for help and for union. Sin, sickness, and attack are seen as misperceptions calling for remedy through gentleness and love. Defenses are laid down because where there is no attack there is no need for them. Our brothers’ needs become our own, because they are taking the journey with us as we go to God. Without us they would lose their way. Without them we could never find our own.

I can’t wait to elaborate on that later.


What is keeping you from your truth.

How easy would it be to say that other people and circumstances are keeping us from our truth of being Christ-like people? Man, I wouldn’t have a job and I believe this world would be a better place if we just point the finger to other people and not take any responsibility as to how we respond to situations. But God didn’t create the perfect world but he did create the perfect person with the perfect love to display that perfect love to his other perfect people. What is keeping us from our truth is the Ego that also lives within you. There are two type of thoughts that people are going through while reading this book, one is “oh wow, this is so cool, I know who I am and if I hone in on who I am that I am able to forgive my trespassers wholeheartedly”. And then there’s the other voice “This is a crock of ish, God doesn’t live within me because he never has and never will, therefore, I will never be able to forgive others.” or my favotite, triggers the pain from your past and justifying “why you can’t forgive them” When there is a part of you that judges what I am sharing with you right now, or finds it hard to forgive a certain time in your past, or a part of you that thinks you are the end all be all and boldly lets everyone know it, that is your ego.

We all know the word ego and its “worldly” definition, a person’s sense of SELF in vain, superior to others, you are not engaging in your truth, you’re ego is firing off to keep you from the truth.. But what the word ego really means from a spiritual aspect is separate self from God, the Universe, from the highest form of love. I was aware of what the devil was capable of doing and how he be doing it, and for me it was easy to blame the devil for the bull that was going on in my life and what was going on in the world today. Don’t get me wrong that stands true and the devil is a real form of energy, but it was never brought to my attention about the ego, who it was, and what it was capable of doing. When you have a full understanding of the ego that also lives inside of all of us, we are aware of what it has done and what is doing with our life, then we are able to make more conscious decisions to glorify God and magnify the power within.

Let me share with you an experience I had when I became woke to the presence of the ego. I accepted my God-given identity from the Holy Spirit of who I am and what I was capable of doing and life was great. All the burdens I faced before begin to disappear after doing the work necessary to step into my power, all the sudden unaware at the time I was given a spiritual assignment. I was facing some drama with my family members, they were being used and I hated it. They were allowing themselves to be victims of the situation and that burned me up. And at that moment, I had enough, I was about to set everyone straight with the truth because you know, the truth shall set you free right? And my approach was raising the iron fist and setting everyone straight about how messed up this whole situation was and that they needed to fix it right now. I mean I was brewing hot, practicing what I was going to set that would create revelation in these peoples lives, I remember placing myself in a moment of deep breathes 

and asking the presence of God within “okay God, tell me if I am wrong, what do I need to do?” and in that instant, a loving and caring voice showered me with His voice and asked me “are you acting from a place of spirit or from the place of the ego?” I opened my eyes and instead of placing guilt on myself for being a douche, I immediately given up all of my perceived judgments and needing to be right and heard and exchanged them for compassion, understanding, and give what was needed most, love. First off, I couldn’t believe it, for the first time in my life I actually witnessed how the ego actually works. The ego is the self that is separated from the Holy Spirit. The ego relies on its own understand and that is it. When we rely on our ego instead of the spirit of God within, we don’t see forgiveness as an option, ego doesn’t see what forgiveness allows us to do when we just do that simple action. Forgiveness is an act of love that we give freely and the ego doesn’t see that. Ego sees forgiveness as a right given by thee to be earned and if you don’t earn it then you don’t deserve it. Therefore holding on to love when in spirit the gift of love is given freely whether they deserve it or not. The ego wants to be right and heard when in spirit the presence is felt and helps us dive in deeper into who we are and inspires others around us to step into they are in Christ.

The ego only sees sickness, faults, death, and doom and gloom. The ego also tries to keep you right where you are at in life at this very moment and has very sneaky moves to try to keep you there. The ego tries to create illusions that simply do not exist and tries to perceive experiences to help us grow into pain and turmoil. The ego strives to be right in everything and everything and it seems to really show up and show out when it realizes that you realize that you are are the son or daughter of God and God created you in His image to carry out His love to His people.

The course of miracles says that the Ego and the Holy Spirit cannot live at once, it is one or the other, love and peace, or hate and problems. When you accept the gifts and truths of God you are saying that You know who you are and you know that God has given you the gift of forgiveness and so much more. You no longer believe in the tricks of the ego to keep you stuck and stagnant in this one life you have to live. All the darkness that the ego provides you no longer believe in it. So when you find yourself in the midst of finding it hard to forgive, you are giving an opportunity to allow your ego to steal your joy and God’s gifts to you. I’ll say this again, you simply do not believe in anything else that will keep you in bondage from God’s given love, talents, and blessings within your and outside of you.


Show your ego some love

Once I knew what type of thought system and energy I was dealing with, I was aware and on guard who the ego was and how it was stealing my joy. I spent a few months of my life trying to fight it taking the focus off of cultivating God’s love within me and sharing that love with others. I mean I was determined not to allow my ego to run my life anymore but by focusing on what I didn’t want it created a daily fight with myself and more B.S. When I noticed myself falling into the trap of the ego I began to get my at myself which turned into getting mad at God, and my ego. Remember how I said the ego will rear it’s ugly head anywhere that it possibly can? Yea, well, the ego turned this fighting itself into a game and I was the biggest piece for it to win. One day during my meditation all of this came up for me and I asked God what do I do to combat this, and the answer was simple. With Love. At the end of the day, everything and everyone needs love including our ego. I began to love my ego for what it was, what it was trying to do, and I basically had to coach my ego into what I needed to evolve and began feeding it with love. When I find myself acting in ego, I breathed into it, I began to shower it with love and simply reshifted those thoughts and feelings into something that was going to make me a better person or this world a better place. I also become a witness to when my ego arises the most and why it appears in that moment. For me personally, my ego shouts at me the most when I notice other female lightworkers and miracle shift makers get a little ahead of me. That’s not who I am in spirit and I know that I ask myself why this comes up for me, and the reason is that I feel like someone is going to beat me to the punch of healing this world first. That’s an illusion that the ego has created for me to believe because God created different strokes for different folks, He created me to save his world but knew I couldn’t do it on my own and created a band of spiritual sisters to assist me on HIS assignment. I show gratitude towards my ego, thank you for teaching me this, thank you for helping me see this differently and I love you so much for protecting me and wanting me to do amazingly awesome, however, this is God’s work and his plan and we must follow it. I mean when you shower your ego with love, gratitude, and honesty, how can that go wrong? Doesn’t mean that the egos tactics will end right there, it simply means that love is the answer for everything and when you treat everything and everyone with love as God has done for you, miracles begin to rain down on you.

So that is the reason why we can’t forgive, we have forgotten who we are in the spirit of Christ or never taught or magnified our strengths with our spirit of God within. Just how the God, the son, and the holy spirit operates as one, some idea goes for us, God who created us, the son which is you and I, and the holy spirit the source of love given to us if we are dialed into it, all operate as one. Meaning, we do not lack in anything if we fully surrender and trust this power given to us, when we begin to doubt and put ourselves down or others down, we put God down. And when we put god down nothing works for us, it simply doesn’t, trust me I know this to be so true and you do too but just never thought of this in this way. In the next chapter, we are going to reconnect to the holy spirit and rekindle that flame within you by asking God to come into your life, letting go of everything you think you know, and gain the gifts that have been giving to you, and one of those gifts is forgiveness. Let’s go.

Main ideas to take away from this post.

You are the son or daughter of God, you were born with the same gifts that God possesses. When you believe this fact then all thoughts that you have about yourself and forgiveness are gone. When you know your truth forgiveness is easy.

  •  The ego doesn’t believe in forgiveness, forgiveness is love and love is given, from the egos perspective love is earned and healing and moving towards God’s light doesn’t exist.


  • When you are aware of the egos tomfoolery and tricks and have a situation arise that the ego is trying to control, show love and gratitude towards your ego and you will be guided back to who you are, love.


Reflection: How has this chapter helped you demystify who you are and who God is?

How do you see that your ego has kept you from forgiving?